"Sit up STRAIGHT..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," would go through my mind, even then knowing my mother was right didn't make me want to sit up the way I knew looked and felt better. It came from my mother, after all...

What it makes me think of NOW, instead of following the rules, better posture for singing and diaphragmatic breathing, blah, blah, blah-even all of these are valid, is that you should want to sit up straight to take notice of what's around you. People will take notice of YOU the better you present yourself, and isn't that part of the performance deal? It IS about the performance as well as the final sound, isn't it?

In recently re-reading Stephen R. Covey's "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," I'm reminded of what an important work it really is: it's also about the fact that I'm hearing it in a totally different way than when I first opened the pages. I've lived a little, I've seen some things...you know, "things..."


Covey sets the tone of his work by introducing the principle of being "Proactive." Now-what is that to you, I ask myself? Ah, I answer wisely, it means taking no prisoners, not playing passive-aggressive games, being up-front and direct with those around you. Well, that's not wrong, per say, but certainly not complete, and probably not as clearly stated as Covey put it: "It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives."

Ahhhhh-different, indeed. Simple is almost always better-no agenda, no outward aggressive attitudes, nothing concerning anyone else but the self. Me. You.

The state of being proactive means that you've begun the journey to higher knowledge. The path to self-awareness has begun, because you've set yourself apart from the complainers and moaners around the coffee pot at work, whining that their boss is a jerk, your children are running wild, and your husband is totally worthless. Instread of spinning your wheels and using precious energy complaining to others, the Pro-Active-Type (oh, let's be cute and call ourselves "PAT" from here on...), there is a bigger picture for PAT-the image that the time spent talking could be turned into the doing of life-no one will "do" your life for you, you know?

So much comes down to choice. I remember a time in high school-I was overbooked (as I continue to be), and stressed. My driver's ed teacher, Mr. Purna (he was so great...), told me that I had changed. That my parents should make me drop some of what I was doing. Having an adult, not a parent, make such an observation about and to me opened my eyes to how others saw me, and how I affected others around me.

When I was a senior, I knew I wasn't going to be able to go to the college of my choice. I was pretty profoundly depressed, for me, anyway. I remember sitting in a classroom, during our lunch break, knowing full well that the person sitting in that chair didn't resemble me. I made a conscious choice to bring myself out of that funk. I chose. I dealt with what I had been given. I instinctively knew that I was pretty much on my own. Big realization.

Pro activity allows one to work through anything with a positive outlook: to make that lemonade out of the lemons you were dealt. It seems to me, that taking responsibility for one's life and choices therein leaves all blame at the door-if you don't like your reality, change it. See your personal big picture and decide what you want, take aim and go. Take on a goal with energy and passion. If there isn't a passion attached, is it even worth it? Weigh your options, make your choice. We are here to make those choices. It's our reason for being, I think.

The times in my life when I've been absolutely clear about what I wanted, it all fell into place:
Moving to New York. Working to get out of debt. Buying our first house. Changing jobs in order to take classes. All very clear moments. My philosophy: If you remember it, then most likely it's a "Moment." Positive moments build on themselves and become the way you think-the way you live. It can and will become a habit. My path resets now.

The parts of me that I've allowed to go dormant and in some ways quite passive are going to get a wake-up call...

Stimulus=can't afford the heating bill during a winter in Providence, Rhode Island. Choice=get a second job and turn it off. Didn't kill me-made me proud I survived it, and gave me a new view of my capacity for work and ability to accomplish an important goal...

The freedom to chose.


But, you know, I'm rambling...I'm chosing to close...